Jack of All Trades or ....?

As I went down the Netflix rabbit hole recently, a poster with Aziz Ansari popped out at me.  I was a big fan of his stand-up and loved him on Parks and Recreation.  I was even more excited to see this wasn’t another stand-up special, but in fact a new Netflix series called Master of None.

I immediately jumped in to watch the pilot and overall I enjoyed it.  The vibe definitely reminded me of Louie (how could it not?)  Both feature a stand-up comedian playing a version of himself as he navigates his life in New York City.  But what I particularly enjoyed about Aziz’s show is that since he’s only a few years older than me, his worries/thoughts/experiences felt closer to me than that of Louie CK.

The pilot opens on Aziz having sex with a random girl.  We don’t see much, just hear the.. ehem.. noises from a covert camera angle.  The condom breaks and then the real awkwardness begins.  Aziz takes her to a drugstore to buy Plan B, pays for it and even gets some apple juice for both of them (because it’s so amazing and delicious).

Noelle Wells (alumus of Saturday Night Live for one season) plays the random hookup girl.  She is delightfully real and awkward with Aziz and I definitely want to see more of her.

I think opening with a sex scene that soon becomes an awkward Plan B run is a great way to start off this pilot.  It tells me this show is really going to lean into the uncomfortable and awkward and while I may not roll on the floor laughing all the time, there is a chuckle of recognition I experience, thinking “Yeah that feels real.”

Since watching this episode and before writing this blog entry, I’ve seen mixed reviews online.  I’ve only seen the pilot so far so I cannot comment on the series as a whole, but I will say that this show is not Parks and Recreation.  I’m not sure if people went in thinking it might be that, but this show definitely is not one to elicit hearty laughter.  Master of None is more thoughtful and evenly paced and potentially will elicit deep and important conversations about society and personal life choices.

A friend of mine saw Aziz’s standup a couple of years ago and her report was “I mean he was funny, but MAN is he bitter about relationships.”  Much of his standup she saw dealt with girls who had rejected him and how hard he found dating to be.

I see this show as perhaps an offshoot of that thought progression, maybe even an evolution from it.  The show feels like he’s exploring his 30s now (I believe Aziz is 31 now) and questioning what he wants, when is the right time to make big moves (get married, have kids, etc) and simply trying to gather information from his fellow 30 year old friends.

It’s a natural thing to question and be curious about.  From my Catholic upbringing to my liberal college education, I have a mix of friends from both sides of that question: those who married young and have several kids already and others who held off on marriage/kids to pursue further schooling and focus on their career path.

And to some extent, I think this pilot managed to show pros and cons for both lifestyle choices.

We see the freedom that comes with being single as well as the awkward sexual encounters mentioned above alongside the wear and tear that comes with being a parent that feature a few sweet moments that only a child can bring.

I truly enjoyed the Master of None pilot and am excited to continue watching the series.  I give this pilot 8 out of 10 bottles of apple juice.

"Submitted for your perusal..."

I recently had the chance to vacation in Orlando and while at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, I enjoyed the classic Tower of Terror ride.  As we waited in the hotel lobby, we were serenaded by the smoky and sultry tones of Rod Serling (unfortunately it was actually voice actor, Mark Silverman, since Mr Serling has passed away, but it’s a dead on impression!)  Throughout the ride, there were various references to famous episode of The Twilight Zone, which my boyfriend kept pointing out to me.

I realized while I’ve heard references to The Twilight Zone my whole life, I’ve maybe seen one entire episode.  So the hidden Easter eggs throughout Terror of Tower ride went completely over my head.  

But after hearing Rod Serling’s inviting and yet eerie voice on the Tower of Terror, I added The Twilight Zone to my short list of must watch pilots.

"You are about to enter another dimension..."

So this week, I watched the 1959 pilot episode, Where is Everybody?   1959!  That is insane to think about, particularly when (spoiler alert!) I really enjoyed the episode and did not find it dated at all.

Almost the whole 30 minutes follows one man as he finds himself unable to remember anything about himself and cannot find any other people in this small strange town.

I immediately perked up as I recognized the town as Hill Valley, the famous town square from Back to the Future!

Hill Valley in 1955

The man, played by Earl Holliman, is dressed in plain coveralls that reminded me of a mechanic’s uniform.  He wanders down a dirt road and hears a jukebox playing in a cafe.  He runs in, calling out to let someone know he’s a customer.

No one is around.  But there’s a hot pot of coffee boiling and then the jukebox turns off by itself.

He yells out, to no one, that he doesn’t remember his own name and figures out he’s American because he has some money on him.  I was immediately intrigued by the mystery and tried to meta-game the ending.  He sees a woman sitting a car, turns out it’s just a mannequin.  With the appearance of that mannequin, I think of the most recent Indiana Jones movie where he stumbled onto a nuclear bomb testing site and was afraid that might what was happening.

Wow, the most hated cinematic moment has an action figure...

He continues into the town square and heads inside the police station, where he finds a smoking cigarette lying in an ashtray and a sink running water with what appears to be an recently abandoned shaving kit.

It happens over and over as this poor man is so sure someone must be here.  He even says out loud “ I wish I could shake that crazy feeling I’m being watched.”

He even walks into a store with a bunch of paperbacks reading The Last Man on Earth.  Is that what’s going on here?!

I felt like a poor man’s Sherlock as I tried to piece together what was happening in the episode before the big reveal.  Now I really suggest you watch the episode, as I really enjoyed it.  So go stream it on Netflix right now!  And then read the end of this entry

SPOILER ALERT

The man starts to frantically pushing the walk button at the intersection as he yells and cries desperately.  We see a half dozen men, all in military uniforms, and one says “Get him out of there.”  Our friend is pulled from a small isolation chamber inside an airplane hanger.  The captain explains he was part of an experiment to see if man can withstand the isolation and loneliness that would come with being sent into space.  The town we saw was simply a creation of his mind to cope with being locked in a tiny chamber for 484 hours.  Which they acknowledge is a totally legit thing to do - over two weeks in isolation would drive most anyone crazy!

END OF SPOILER ALERT

I found the performance of our leading man, Earl Holliman, very compelling.  He has literally no one to work against except a mannequin, a recording on a pay phone, and then his own reflection at one point.  

Earl, with a creepy mannequin in the background

I also was very impressed with how timeless the story and dialogue felt.  It is in black and white, but other than that, this episode felt like it could have been released in the last 10 years.  This “last man on earth” theme is ever present in TV shows today with The Walking Dead and The Last Man on Earth (a little on the nose).  Also if I found myself alone in a town with no people, you BET I would be freaking out like this guy did.  He actually lasted sane a lot longer than I would.  

It’s harder to rate this episode as a pilot since it’s not necessarily a continuation.  Each episode will have its own story and new cast of characters.  That being said I think it was a strong introduction to what this series will be like.  And even 56 years later, I was not able to guess the ending of this episode.

I’m excited to watch more Twilight Zone episodes and give this pilot 9 out 10 Rod Serling narrations.

"We're not bad people, but we did a bad thing"

As I dive deeper in the streaming TV options, my Broadway love pulled me toward the Netflix series Bloodline.  Now this intense family drama has no musical numbers or peppy dance breaks, but it does have Norbert Leo Butz so this show has been on to watch list for a while.

For those uninitiated, Norbert Leo Butz is a man of Broadway fame, winner of two Tony Awards (Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and Catch Me If You Can) and originated the role of Fiyero in Wicked on Broadway.

Dreamy, confused Fiyero

He's one of the brothers in this large mysterious family, so while his role isn't particularly large, I'm excited when any Broadway actor breaks into TV or film.  And his wife is played by the lovely Katie Finneran, also a two time Tony winner (Noises Off and Promises, Promises)

Bloodline features a family of four siblings that are brought together for a weekend to celebrate their parents' success running a prestigious hotel in Key West.

We've got Kyle Chandler, from Friday Night Lights, as the sheriff and all around "good" son.  He serves as our narrator who ominously tells us that when his oldest brother comes to visit, it's always trouble.  But that this time would be the worst of them all.  DUN DUN DUN!
He also says the line I made the title of this entry: "We're not bad people, but we did a bad thing" which is clearly the tagline of this show.

My boy Norbert plays the youngest sibling, who seems to be the more emotional and fun of the four kids.  In one scene, he plays as the MC of their giant tug of war game and I can see how Norbert could have read this scene and landed the part instantly.

We have Linda Cardellini as the sole sister, Meg, whose opening shot is having backseat car sex with her fiance.  Honestly her character doesn't develop much after that first shot, which is fine, considering this actress was a staple of my childhood from Scooby Doo to Boy Meets World (I mean she almost broke up Cory and Topanga!), I will love her in anything and everything she does.

"Jeepers!"

And the black sheep, oldest son who will probably mess everything up is played by Ben Mendelsohn, an Australian actor (fooled me!) who I absolutely buy as the drugged up misfit prodigal son.
Sissy Spacek and Sam Shepard are the parents.  Sissy is a sweet anxious mess at the top of the pilot, stating that she will relax when her whole family is there.  And then the rest of the pilot, everyone else is constantly concerned about her - like a light breeze will upset her and she will wither away into a pile of dust.
After Sam Shepard appeared in August: Osage County, I'm wondering if Mr. Shepard will only act the part of an older patriarch in a boat as he opens this show in a kayak.  Because of August, I did worry that something would happen in that boat, but he made it back okay.

You know this show is deep because everyone is looking wistfully in different directions

So this pilot, clocking in at 59 minutes, does not move super fast.  It establishes some of the family dynamics I've already mentioned and I thought the dialogue felt realistic.
Some scenes read like this:

Brother 1: Hey, I'm bringing a date tonight, can you add her to the family table?
Sister:  A date?  We've never met her before
Brother 1: I know, I know.  Just do me a solid and squeeze her in.
Brother 2: Hey what's going on here?
Sister: He's bringing a date
Brother 2:  A date?  We've never met her before.
Brother 3: Hey what's going on here?

You get the idea - I almost laughed out loud at the repetitive nature of scenes like this, mostly because it felt so real.  A new person walks into a conversation and you explain what's going on and the newcomer repeat exactly what has already been said before they arrived.  And somehow these scenes didn't come off as redundant or annoying.  I genuinely felt uncomfortable and thought "Yeah, this is absolutely how families work."  Everyone puts in their two cents until it gets awkward and loud.
And then we eat turkey.

The pilot ends with a bang that literally made me yell "What?!"  So Netflix has figured out that a long slow 58 minutes of TV is always saved by one last minute of excitement and I will instantly start streaming the next episode.
The performances are very strong and powerful in this show and I was never bored watching it.  I would say if you enjoy character-driven shows where they really explore backstory and motivation, you'll like Bloodline.  If, however, you watched an episode of Lost and thought it was a waste if the Smoke Monster didn't appear, you may want to pass.
I definitely fall in the former group so I will continue watching and I give this pilot 7 out of 10 awkward family dinners.

"A breath is simply a bridge to your next breath"

As pilot seasons winds down for the fall, I have started exploring the vast world of online TV series.  I have an epically long list of TV shows I need to watch and so many of them are from various streaming platforms.

Today, I decided to try out a pilot from Amazon Prime that came highly recommended to me from a friend: Mozart in the Jungle. 

I heard it had Bernadette Peters in it, so I was pretty much sold instantly.  Not sure who Bernadette Peters is?  She's the fiery red head who has rocked Broadway for the past 40 some years and was in the movie musicals, Annie and Cinderella with Brandy (potentially the most racially diverse casting of a musical before Hamilton came along ;-)

Bernadette, right, in NBC's Smash

Also, the poster for this show is quite an eye-catching spectacle.  With all the pastel colors, should it be called "Mozart in Wonderland"?

The NY Symphony has never been sexier

As the episode began to load, the first title card that flashed across the screen was Amazon Comedy.  By the end of the pilot, I think this is a mistake to label this series that way.  It is a 30 minute episode, but comparing this show to something like 30 Rock or The Grinder only does it a disservice.

Don't get me wrong, there are funny moments in this show, but not ones with howling out loud laughter.

I loved when the sexy upright bass player, Cynthia, tells her new friend, Hailey how a man's profession determines how he'll be in bed.  They cut away to various sultry scenes of Cynthia having sex with a violinist and a percussionist.  

It took me about a scene and a half to tell these two apart... The red lipstick on Cynthia helped

Another funny highlight for me is when some of the symphony players run to play in a Broadway pit and we see the show: Styx Oedipus Rocks!  As I see the marquee and hear the song, Come Sail Away, I can immediately see the Rock of Ages parody.  Also, the star is none other than Constantine Maroulis from American Idol!  Halfway through the scene, red marks appear under his eyes for when he gouges his eyes out.  Why isn't this a real musical?!

Constantine, right, as Oedipus. Jason Schwartzman, left, head writer

My overall impression of this pilot was one of subtle intrigue.  I wasn't jumping out of my seat in excitement, like when I watched the pilot of The Grinder two weeks ago, but again, I don't believe Mozart in the Jungle should be directly compared to comedies.

This show is going to explore behind the scenes of the NY symphony and what it is like to be a working instrumentalist.  As a creative type, I find this world somewhat familiar and yet foreign at the same time.  I wondered throughout the scenes if the actors were really playing their instruments (it seemed to me they might be) although watch my wiser friends who did high school band and orchestra correct me. 

The writing is very smart and straightforward.  Not once was I confused by a character's motivation nor did I think "that would never happen!"  Even when the main character, Hailey, has a crazy house party where they take shots and then play different classical pieces on their instruments until someone plays a wrong note, I was 100% on board.

There are a few quirky and playful moments in the script, which I wonder if that's simply the style of the two head writers and cousins, Roman Coppola and Jason Schwartzman.   Jason, pictured above, is also an actor who has appeared in almost all of Wes Anderson films (my favorite being Moonrise Kingdom) so I wonder if Wes's quintessential style has rubbed off on him.  And yes, in case you didn't already know, Jason and Roman are part of THAT Coppola family with relatives Francis Ford, Sophia and Nicholas Cage.  Talia Shire, Adrian from the Rocky movies, is Jason's mom!!  

A face only a mother could love...

When they introduce the new conductor, Rodrigo, they show him conducting rather frantically as the backdrop changes just as frantically.  While this type of moment never repeats in the pilot, I found it amusing rather than jarring.

Looks like they borrowed backdrops from a 90s Hanson music video

The performances across the board are fantastic.  I can already see Gael Garcia Bernal is going to be a perfect cast for the eccentric conductor genius, Rodrigo, and his bitter predecessor, Thomas, played by Malcolm Mcdowell, will go toe to toe with him nicely.

I'm excited to see all of these actors since I know almost none of them and thus have no prior baggage going into this series.

The pilot ends on a cliff hanger as whether or not Hailey will be considered for the NY Symphony.  I most definitely will continue to watch this show as the pilot made it seem both intriguing and effortless.

I give this pilot 8 out of 10 frantic conducting backdrops.

West CoVINA!! CALIFORNIA!

It’s 2005 at a high school summer camp with a a half dozen girls singing a pitchy rendition of “I’m in Love with a Wonderful Guy” from South Pacific.

Immediately the show, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is already appealing to inner musical theatre nerd.  I feel myself sitting up a little straighter, this show is speaking my language.

You may have seen the giant billboards for this new CW show (they’ve been hard to miss in NYC).  And I have to say the ad campaign and the title turned me a little off to the show.  I mean, the poster has actress, Rachel Bloom, with a dare I say… crazy look on her face as she clenches a broken balloon string for dear life as the balloon is floating away.  A metaphor perhaps for her character’s life?

Also “crazy ex-girlfriend” is a term that gets thrown around a lot and it makes me squirm a little bit.  Girls get labeled as crazy too quickly and I don’t want an entire TV show to reenforce that!

All that being said, I think, for the most part, this show won me over.  While there were some moments where I winced at the awkwardness, overall, the lead character, Rebecca Bunch felt relatable in a lot of ways.

As you may have guessed, the show begins with Rebecca Bunch getting dumped by her summer camp boyfriend, Josh Chan.  Flash forward 10 years and she no longer does the musical theatre she loves, but works hard at a law firm.  So hard in fact that she’s offered a junior partnership.

She runs into Josh Chan on the street and immediately is reminded of how much she loved him and loved her life back at high school summer camp.

So like anyone would do, she quits her job and moves to California where Josh lives to try to get back with him.

Crazy, right?

Her sudden cross country move is highlighted by a fantastic musical number that reminds me of the movie Enchanted, the song "That's How You Know."  I really did enjoy this number ("West Covina California") and I think this show will succeed where others have failed in justifying musical moments.  Since she’s “crazy,” they’re inside her mind and they fit quite nicely.

All musical numbers should end with the lead being lifted into the air by a giant pretzel

The other musical number in this episode is Rebecca preparing for a date called “Sexy Getting Ready Song”, think a R&B slow jam.  This song made me laugh as a girl who has never been graceful at primping and it also highlights just how ridiculous women can be in what lengths they will go for beauty - Spanx galore!

The main reason I actually decided to watch this show was because of Santino Fontana, a Broadway actor recently in a Broadway production of Cinderella, so I’m hoping he gets to sing in a future episode!

You may have heard his voice in a little film called Frozen?

He seemed so nice...

Although I promise Hans and this guy, Greg, have just the voice in common.  Greg is the stereotypical sweet guy who the lead girl will never pay attention to but he’s clearly into her and better than whatever loser guy she’s obsessed with.  I’m a sucker for these guys - it’s why I read so many Meg Cabot books in high school.  Santino nails the part and has some great lines of wry and self-deprecating humor.

Aww, you can't resist those sad puppy dog eyes 

Which brings us the writing.  It’s definitely out there and wacky and it reminds me a bit of 30 Rock.  The writing is jam packed full of things to laugh at and moves so quickly, that you will enjoy some, miss a few, and go “…what?” at the rest.

Rachel Bloom is a new actor to me (apparently she’s a YouTube star?) but she definitely has some real strong moments in this pilot.  While she acts “crazy” and moves across the country, I definitely can relate to the stress and just having a “what am I doing with my life?!” moment.  She has a bit of a meltdown and while you or I may have a good cry with a pint of Cherry Garcia, she uproots her life and travels 3,000 miles to West Covina, California.

Overall, I thought this show was sweet and of course, the musical theatre features got me excited.  I am worried about keeping the “crazy ex-girlfriend” premise going for very long.  The writing is good, with some weird offbeat moments.  I liked near the end of the pilot where Rebecca gained a confidante who believes in her ability to get back Josh and will now join forces with her.  There’s an added layer of a strong female friendship, which may add some perspective or heighten the crazy, depending on which way they decide to go… probably the latter.  I think I may watch a few more episode although I’m afraid it may not find an audience and will get cancelled before it gets halfway through its first season.

I give this pilot 7 out of 10 giant crane pretzels.

"The Grinder Rests"

As the ending credits to Grinder rolled, I was almost giddy with excitement.  This review might be the easiest one I ever do (and possibly the shortest)

I LOVED IT!

Rob Lowe and Fred Savage are perfectly cast in this fun, half hour comedy made by FOX.  Rob Lowe plays an actor who was on a popular law procedural.  The pilot begins with Fred Savage, Rob Lowe and family watching the series finale of said show and without spoilers, the show is a perfect parody of every law and detective show you've ever seen!  After his few seasons on Parks and Recreation, I'm so excited that Rob Lowe is doing comedy again.  For you Parks and Rec fans, Lowe says "literally" at the end of this pilot and it made me miss Chris Traeger so much!

And Fred Savage I adore!  I can't believe he has disappeared from the acting sphere so completely. Apparently since his Wonder Years days, he has concentrated on directing and his resume credits are extensive: from episodes of Boy Meets World to Modern Family to Eddie Murphy's Daddy Day Camp, which earned him a prestigious Razzie nomination.

I completely buy Fred Savage as this small town lawyer from Iowa who feels overshadowed by his hot Hollywood actor brother and I kept laughing out loud at his angry outbursts.

And later in the episode, when Rob Lowe tries his hand at real life court proceedings, you have this to look forward to:

The opposing lawyer in the gif above is Kumail Nanjiani (Silicon Valley, Franklin and Bash) whom I adore.  He's one of the smaller actors I was excited to see in this pilot- people who will hopefully become super famous soon.  (If for some reason you are not watching Silicon Valley already, I highly recommend it!)

Another shout-out goes to Mary Elizabeth Ellis, who plays Fred Savage's wife.  She and Fred have such great chemistry and I loved their scenes together.  She has been in countless TV shows, usually for a couple of episodes, so she has had plenty of time to hone her great comedic chops.  You most likely will recognize her as the waitress Charlie Day stalks in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

When I finished watching this pilot, I was struck at how I forgot to take notes after the first few minutes.  Instead of analyzing and deconstructing every moment and character choice, I simply enjoyed the episode.  

My only worry for the series is whether or not they will be able to sustain the premise they have set up.  But regardless, I am 100% on board for the ride and plan to continue watching!

I have purposefully given a lighter and less in-depth review because I think you will enjoy this pilot going in blind.  Go watch it now!  Here's a link: Grinder Pilot

I give this pilot 9 out of 10 notecards!

“Its like a Friends episode, but someone is trying to murder all the friends.”

This week, I’m covering the new series Scream Queens by Ryan Murphy (famous for Glee and American Horror Story).  Technically Fox aired 2 episodes at once so I’ve already seen past the first episode, but I’m sticking to my guns and reviewing only the pilot.

This 15 episode series is a horror comedy that people have been describing as Mean Girls meets Scream.  I definitely agree with that label, although watching this pilot I immediately thought of Heathers, the 1989 cult classic featuring Winona Rider and Christian Slater.  In Heathers, the popular clique consist of three girls named Heather and they are the worst human beings.

All three of these devils are named Heather

In Scream Queens, Chanel has minions who follow her around her giant two story closet (that is straight from the movie Clueless) and she simply calls them Chanel #2, Chanel #3 and Chanel #5 because she refuses to learn their names.  (There’s a throwaway line about how Chanel #4 died last semester...or did she?)

Every move clique needs color coordination

There’s even a scene in both movies where people are buried up to their chin as a hazing ritual.

Winona Ryder part of Heathers croquet game

Deaf Taylor Swift in Kappa hazing

So Ryan Murphy: love him or hate him, everyone agrees he has a distinct voice.  Like in Glee, Scream Queens features his campy and sometimes random humor.  For those who love political correctness, you will wince throughout this entire episode.  You have to give him some credit though on casting; he represents every race, religion, creed and handicapable-ness (sure, that’s a word…).  But with this diverse menagerie, Murphy makes sure no one is safe from ridicule.  When it comes to being PC, my general rule is if it’s funny, it passes.  And that’s where I sometimes have issues with Ryan Murphy.  Hearing some of his “zingers” makes me think Murphy has a charade hat full of random words and a dartboard of different minorities and then puts the two together.  How else could he have written the line “all deaf people have halitosis”? 

The pilot begins with a bloody 1995 title card.  We know it’s the 90s instantly because of the hilarious wardrobe choices and the music - “Waterfalls is my jam!”  In classic “I didn’t know I was pregnant” style, a sorority sister has a baby in a bathtub.  One sister is legit freaked out and runs downstairs to let other sisters know.  She walks through the party with blood on her hands (a non-plussed sister asks “Ew, did you get your period or something?”)  Some sisters come up to the bathroom and call the pregnant girl “the worst Kappa pledge ever” and leave because their favorite song is on.  Freaked out sister stays, holding the baby, and when the other sisters return, it is revealed that the pregnant girl is dead.

Alright, I know this is a TV show, but already this beginning bugs me.  Why did no one call 911?  They had phones in 1995.  The one sister who seemed genuinely concerned should have called the hospital.  How hard would that have been?!

Jump to present day where within two minutes, Emma Roberts’ character (Chanel), the queen bee of Kappa Kappa Tau says about 25 horrible things, including referring to the sorority’s maid as White Mamie.  My boyfriend pointed out to me that this is an anti-Save the Cat moment.  There’s a well known screenwriting book called Save the Cat.  The titular idea is that you establish your hero as good by having them do something really nice at the beginning.  John Cleese, at the beginning of A Fish Called Wanda, brings his wife a cup of tea.  This simple gesture makes it clear to the audience that he’s a good guy, so we give him a pass when he starts sleeping with Jaime Lee Curtis later in the film.

Emma Roberts is a despicable character, a caricature of a Queen Bee Sorority Girl.  Having her spew endless barrage of verbal slams and non PC remarks is Scream Queens Anti-Save the Cat moment. 

Remember what I said about Cheers last week about how it was a simple concept and it showed us what the characters were, rather than tell us?  Yeah, Scream Queens does zero of that.  I was frantically writing notes to try to remember all the characters and key points in this pilot and then gave up halfway through.

Here’s the cast of characters:

- Chanel (Emma Roberts) - racist terrible person who loves pumpkin spice lattes

- Chanel #2 (Ariana Grande) - has one great scene I'll mention in a bit

- Chanel #3 (Carrie Fisher’s daughter - my friend pointed out to me that she wears earmuffs almost the whole episode - homage to her mom?)

Help me, delicious cocktail, you're my only hope!

- Chanel #5 - (Abagail Breslin) - she is inTENSE!  She is definitely the Gretchen Weiners of the group

She's learned new moves since Little Miss Sunshine

- Grace - the aptly named, sweet, blonde freshman,  who is super close to her dad.  Her deceased mom was in KKT, so Grace wants to join to feel connected to her.  I think we're supposed to like her?

- Jamie Less Curtis - the dean of the college.  In a scene post-coital with a student, she smokes a cigarette and she monologues about her divorce and how she hates KKT - this felt like an information dump, where she talks for a solid minute, because the writers need us to know this stuff for some reason

Jamie Lee is terrible at her job

- Chad - fraternity tool douche bag who occasionally sleeps with Emma Roberts

- Nick Jonas - fraternity brother who is in love with Chad

- Coffee Boy - a barista that Emma Roberts reams out and then Grace flirts with.  He’s also an investigative reporter…?  He’s 19, who is he reporting for?  We also find the same outfit that the killer wears in his wardrobe.  His excuse is that he's the school mascot... How many jobs does this kid have?!

- Keke Palmer - Grace’s roommate.  She is the token black person and I feel like she was asked to talk more “urban” which is industry code for talk like a stereotypical black person.  At one point she says “You’re dope.”  No one in the real world talks like that.

Kappa pledges - these are the names Emma Roberts gives them (I know they’re charming)

- Neckbrace (Lea Michele) - actually love her in this role, she’s super weird and nerdy.  I love the fact Lea Michele is no longer on top like she was in Glee.

- Candle vlogger

- Predatory Lez 

- Deaf Taylor Swift

L to R: Grace, Keke, Neckbrace, Candle vlogger, Predatory Lez, Deaf T Swift

So with all these characters, after one episode, I can tell you little to nothing about each of them.  I think, in a cop-out fashion, this show is going to throw a lot of questions at their viewers in order to seem intriguing and thrilling when really that’s a sign of putting no effort into the writing.

Within this episode, almost every character gives a significant, eerie look when alone, as if to suggest to the audience, I know/did something dark that I cannot say.  I understand it's a horror movie trope, but that didn't stop me from rolling my eyes every time it happened.

"Why do I have the killer's mask? Oh...well... our college mascot is the Red Devil?"

Also I believe the reason Fox showed the first two episodes at once is because the second episode has a much better ending.  The pilot ends with someone getting killed and then cut to black.  No intrigue at all.

The one shining moment of this pilot is when Chanel #2 comes face to face with the killer, someone in all red with a devil mask, and they proceed to text each other back and forth.  That scene made me laugh out loud.

And Nasim Pedrad is great!  She plays the National President of KKT who dresses like it’s 1995 and casually mentions that her therapist says a traumatic experience has trapped her in the past, causing her to dress this way.  I have to imagine this is going to come back later.  She has the hilarious line I used for the title of this blog entry.  

It's like a Friends episode...

Having seen the next episode already, I can say you can look forward to the always hilarious Niecy Nash (Reno 911) as the security guard hired to protect the Kappas as well as some great acting moments from Nick Jonas.  I know, I’m just as surprised as you are.

So overall I found Scream Queens to be an average pilot, but the second episode won me over with a big twist.  Would I recommend you watch it based solely off the pilot?  Probably not - there’s a lot of wonky missteps that made me go “huh?” throughout the episode.

Unfortunately as proven by my viewing of the season 2 premiere of How to Get Away with Murder, I’m a sucker for any type of mystery and will keep watching even as I’m yelling at the screen in frustration.

I give this pilot 5 out of 10 Pumpkin Spice Lattes

"Afternoon Everybody!"

Diane: “Yes, I can take a message.  You’re welcome” *hangs up the phone*

Sam: “Well?”

Diane “You’re a magnificent pagan beast.”

Sam: “Thank you.  What’s the message?”

That exchange is from the Cheers pilot between the ever famous Sam and Diane, played by Ted Danson and Shelley Long.  I had never seen a single episode of Cheers until this week, but the names of Sam and Diane have definitely reached me through my years of TV.  They are the epitome of sexual tension of a will they-won’t they, on again-off again couple.  Without them, we wouldn’t have Ross and Rachel from Friends or countless other romances that drove our favorite shows. 

Reviewing Cheers first seems like a no brainer.  When Top 10 lists come up about the Best Pilots of All Time, Cheers is almost always on that list.  Beginning TV writers are often told to watch this pilot so they can understand how to tackle this daunting format.

A pilot is essentially a sales pitch.  It has to establish location, story and believable, compelling characters in the simplest way possible and it needs to lay the groundwork for the potential episodes to come.  It must do all of this to convince both a network to buy the series and for audiences to stick around to watch it.  If we aren’t grabbed within one 22 minute pilot, why would we watch the following week?  (Or with the magic of Netflix, watch the next episode within 15 seconds of the last one ending?)

After hearing its praises sung over and over again, I was a little wary to watch it.  Would this 1982 pilot make a positive impression or would I just see the same tired old jokes some shows still try to use today?

Well let’s find out…

We open on the exterior shot of a bar, the name Cheers prominently displayed.  We head inside and see a tall thin man with an amazing head of hair setting up the bar.

That was my first note as I watched this pilot: Ted Danson has great hair.  From moment one, I was sold that Ted Danson was Sam ‘Mayday’ Malone.  His winning smile and devil may care delivery proves he’s perfectly cast as the slick womanizing bartender who used to pitch for the Red Sox. 

And then the theme song begins!  I have to say I miss good theme songs.  I still remember so many openings from my favorite 90s shows and now all we get are weird noises a la Lost or a song that repeats one word over and over (Two and a Half Men).  Again, I have often heard the Cheers theme referenced in other TV shows.  It’s that iconic!  The song is very catchy and I’ve caught myself humming the song a lot since I watched the pilot.  

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name

And they’re always glad you came!

You wanna be where you can see

Our troubles are all the same

You wanna go where everybody knows your name!

As an avid TV fan, I’ve watched my fair share of multi-cam sitcoms.  For those unfamiliar, multi-cam refers to a show that is filmed with multiple cameras at once.  They are often used with sitcoms so they can film a scene in one or two takes in front of their live studio audience.  Any show you can think of that has 3 wall sets is probably a multi-cam: Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, Mike & Molly, etc.  

Many multi-cam shows follow certain joke writing formulas and premises.  I'm sure if you watch an episode of the Big Bang Theory you can sort of feel when a joke is going to come in.  Cheers certainly has the same feel, I was surprised at how often I smiled and enjoyed the jokes, even if they were similar to ones I'd heard before.  I credit my lack of actual out loud laughter to the fact that the multi-cam sitcom has been done so much over the last 30 years that what was once clever writing is now old hat.  But I appreciate the humor in the same way I can appreciate someone like Mel Brooks.  I watch History of the World Part I now and think “Wow these jokes feel a little old and overdone”, but then I remember that Mel Brooks was a fresh comic of his time, bringing new humor and joke styles to the forefront.  The reason the humor feels old is because everyone after Mel took from him and expanded on it.  Comedians like Mike Myers and Jim Carrey wouldn’t exist without him.

The same argument can be made for Cheers.  The writers wrote new jokes and premises for the time, sometimes even edgy.  I found out that Cheers actually won a GLAAD Media award for an episode in Season 1 about a fellow ball player of Sam’s who comes out of the closet.  Some of the bar regulars are afraid Cheers will become a gay bar and pressures Sam to make sure that doesn’t happen.  That plot may seem silly now, but for 1982 those writers were clearly taking some risks. 

What makes Cheers such a great pilot is that it establishes characters very well.  Diane arrives at Cheers with her new fiancé, who quickly leaves to get Diane's engagement ring from his ex-wife.  She is a newcomer, just like us, and thus is introduced to everyone in the bar one by one.  And while some key characteristics are told to us point blank, the biggest strength of this pilot is that it shows, rather than tells, us about a character. 

Diane introduces herself to Sam and then proceeds to make a bunch of literary references that completely go over Sam’s head.  Immediately it’s established that Diane is an intellectual snob and Sam is a man of simple mind, simple pleasures.

How will these two crazy kids ever make it work?

We soon meet Coach, who comes in complaining about the Patriots and how they got a new linebacker and how terrible that is.  Sam disagrees, claiming a good linebacker can turn a whole team around.  Coach instantly agrees with Sam’s opinion and two more times, another character convinces him to change his mind about the Patriots’ linebacker.  Probably the best line that characterizes him is:

 “Is there an Ernie Pantusso here?”

“That’s you, Coach.”

“Speaking”

George Wendt plays the lovable bar regular, Norm, who spends way too much time at bar and drinks too much.  When Norm enters, he says “Afternoon, everybody!”  And everyone in the bar yells “Norm!”  More than once during the pilot, Norm looks at his watch as if he’s debating whether he can stay and says “Maybe I’ll have one more drink…”  He stays until the bar closes for the night and Coach has to give him a ride home.

Fun Fact: George Wendt and John Ratzenberger both auditioned for the role of George, a one-liner role (“Beer!”).  George Wendt got the part and it evolved into Norm.  As Ratzenberger was leaving his audition, he asked the producers if they had a know-it-all character because “every bar has one.”  They liked the idea and Cliff Clavin was born.

Cliff Clavin is a mailman and bar know-it-all.  With his first line, he shares that women have less sweat glands than men, but women’s are larger and more active.  If you don’t recognize John Ratzenberger immediately, you may be surprised to learn that he has been a voice in every Pixar movie to date, probably his most memorable character being Hamm from the Toy Story movies.  I think it may be because his voice has spoken to me throughout my childhood that I love Cliff so much.  His sweet dulcet Boston accent just makes me smile.

To me, the stand out star of this show is Rhea Perlman.  She plays Carla, a waitress at Cheers.  For her first entrance, she throws open the door with her arms out.

“Okay I’m late!  

My kid was throwing up all over the place!  If you don’t buy that excuse, I’m quitting ‘cause I don’t work for a man who has no compassion for my children!  And it doesn’t look like you’re exactly swamped here!  I’m usually very punctual!  You don’t like it, that’s fine because this ain’t a great job to begin with!

I’m gonna change.”

My girl Rhea comes in strong and kills it!  I immediately know so much about her in 20 seconds and it’s love at first sight for me.  If they were casting Cheers now, I would want to play Carla.  She’s spunky, loud and not taking flack from anybody, not even her boss.

The pilot ends with Diane losing both her fiancé and her job.  Sam graciously offers her a waitressing position at the bar.  Diane literally laughs in his face at the suggestion, until it dawns on her that her life in literary academia has given her no real job skills.  She accepts the job and we end on her serving her first customers.

  

Overall, I really had fun watching Cheers.  I can see why people say it’s a great pilot.  It tells a clear story with compelling characters and I know what to expect in future episodes.  It’s a classic sitcom and while I didn’t laugh out loud, I enjoyed Cheers much better than any multi-cam sitcom that is currently airing. 

For my rating system, I’m going to borrow an idea from the Gilmore Guys podcast.  It will always be out of 10, but instead of stars it will change to relate the show I’m reviewing.  So for Cheers, I’m going to give it 9 out of 10 magnificent pagan beasts.  And I would definitely watch more episodes.  I’m a sucker for romantic tension and the potential for couples to get together!  The performances in this show really sell it for me — I want to see what happens next to these crazy crew of characters!

I may have, in fact, already watched the next half dozen episodes or so.  And I highly recommend you do as well.  It’s available on Netflix streaming.

Whew! I made it through my first review - let me know what you think and if you have suggestions for future pilots I should watch.

My Pilot Post

By the time I hit college, I started referring to myself as a professional TV marathoner.

I love TV.  Love it.  I devour it like Oreos slathered in peanut butter, one right after the other except I don’t experience the incredible heartburn and nausea that should immediately follow.  TV marathoning to me is a joy, a chance to work at a Pennsylvania mid-sized paper company or get stranded on a mysteriously magical island without ever leaving my cozy couch.

I laugh, I cry.  I cry A LOT actually.  A sappy series finale, a sudden death of a favorite character, or just a sweet, simple gesture that tugs at your heartstrings.  That’s all it takes to turn me into a blubbering wreck where I can barely wipe tears away so I can still watch the screen.

I not only love watching TV, I love talking about it as well.  There’s nothing better than bonding over an insane season finale and speculating on what will happen next.  Because I love these conversations so much, it has become a personal mission to not only watch whole completed series, but to watch all the new shows during pilot season. 

So with this superhero talent of mine to watch endless amounts of TV, how do I channel my power for the common good?  I should write a blog!

I mean you all definitely need more blogs to read, right…?  Especially about TV shows?

My blog idea will be slightly different from your average bear though.  

I plan to watch the pilot, and only the pilot, of a TV show and review it.  My review will ultimately decide whether I want to continue the series or move onto another pilot. 

So starting this coming week, I will review my first pilot of a TV show.  What will it be?  An old classic?  A cable drama?  Something streaming on Netflix?

You’ll have to check back same time next week to find out!